Not too long ago I thought my life was pretty set- I was married for 20+ years, I had four beautiful kids that kept me busy, and I was busy serving in my church. I was fortunate enough to be a stay at home mom so my life was centered on my family. My life was far from perfect, but I felt like I knew what my future looked like.
I guess I got a little too comfortable. When I wasn’t looking, what seemed like a massive storm swept through, bringing changes into my life that were so unexpected and unwelcome. It tossed my average life into total chaos, leaving nothing but a path of destruction full of broken, misplaced parts of what used to be my life. The only thing I could do was stand in the middle of the mess and look for a way to put it all back together again. Often times, when I surveyed the damage, panic would take over, paralyzing me and I would ask myself “Where do I begin”?
I have always been a big believer that we can grow under any set of circumstances if we look for the opportunities. I decided that if I had to go through the experiences I was faced with then I was going to learn EVERYTHING I possibly could. Otherwise, if I choose to just “get through” my circumstances I would most certainly lose an opportunity to grow and that would make the pain sting a little deeper and make the experiences seem like just a waste of time. No, if I had to go through this I was going to learn all I could. I was going to squeeze everything I possibly could out of it. I wanted to come out on the other side of this whole storm stronger than I was before it knocked me off my feet.
So I begin with what I KNEW. I knew I had a loving Heavenly Father that knew what I was going through, so I relied on my faith. I knew I had friends and family that loved me, so I reached out them (this wasn’t easy at first but it was part of the learning process). I knew deep down that eventually the dark clouds I felt swirling around me would move on and I wouldn’t be stuck in this storm forever, so I looked forward to the day when the sun would shine again.
I can’t say at the time that I was loving the life I lived while creating the life I wanted. In fact, there were many times that desperation would take over I would be in full-on survival mode. There were days that I hated. every. single. minute. of it. There were days that I was just trying to live life-there wasn’t anything I could find to love about it. That’s the honest truth.
I can say though, that over time I began to see the life I wanted and I worked toward creating the possibility, hoping that one day I might have it. After all, creating the life we want is a process.
Did the storm pass? Yes. Have I felt the warmth of the sun on my face again? Yes. Did I learn anything in the process? Absolutely.
Do I have the life I want now? Not completely, I’m still working on it and that’s ok with me. I love my life now. In fact, because of what I’ve experienced and the things I’ve learned along the way life seems just a little sweeter than it ever was before.